As you may or may not have discovered by now, love hurts. And by that I mean, it actually physically hurts. A  recent study at the University of Michigan found that the brain lights up in the same areas as physical pain does when someone experiences an emotional rejection. So it makes all the sense in the world that people go to great lengths to soothe their mental sores after a rejection. 

You may have witnessed a friend silently crying in his coffee cup at breakfast over some girl, or you may have banned your friend from constantly texting her recent “ex” by stealing her Iphone when she wasn’t looking. When this healing process manifests itself, it’s usually over and forgotten soon after, but while you’re knee-deep in feeling down, here are some things to keep in mind to pull yourself back up.

1. Avoid calling them night and day. Actually calling or texting them at all for a bit. This is most important because if you want to maintain your dignity or keep any second chances, you’re going to want to give them space.
2. Go out and meet someone else. Even if you don’t really feel like it. Now I’m not advocating you go to your local dive bar and go home with the first lonely soul you see as this will bring you even more grief the next morning. Meeting someone else basically means get out of your apartment with friends, and talk to people you find interesting
3. Talk about it with someone you trust.  I suggest a best friend. J This will allow you to air out your deepest darkest feelings, and it will most likely make you feel less lonely once you’re sharing it with another human being.
4. Shy away from immediately trying to be “friends” with them. You’re just torturing yourself, you know at least for a while you’ll only see them in a non-platonic light. So wait a bit until you believe it’s safe to resume speaking to them on normal terms.
5. Play it cool. Pretend like nothing happened OR talk openly about it the next time you see them if you can keep a straight face and act like you’re over it. If you’re too shamed to see them at all, all the better. Just don’t go up to them the next day and try to pick up where things left off before the rejection, you’ll need to backtrack a little bit.
6. Do some jumping jacks, or other kinds of physical exercise. As P.E. teachers and Moms have told us countless times, physical exercise releases endorphins and makes you happy! And makes you look great too ;)
7. Don’t fool yourself. This may have happened for a reason you know about deep down. Because if you’re any degree of normal, you’ll examine your process anyway and look to see if you make a plunder at some point that led to this rejection.
8. Don’t beat yourself up either.  Just because you know it may have been coming doesn’t mean you did anything wrong necessarily. Some people are just mean; some just enjoy the thrill of breaking hearts. If you know you actually did something to piss off that person, don’t do it again. Just be reasonable during your examination of what actually happened.
9. Don’t Lie to yourself. If you’ve been hurt by this experience, go ahead and be hurt. Don’t push it all way deep down and tell everyone around you you’re fine and not allow yourself to shed a single tear. Deal with your hurt, don’t drag it on, and get on with your life. The more you lie to yourself about it, the more it will define your future relationships, which is very undesirable.
10. Don’t give up; what goes down must come up. Ok so maybe that’s not the exact phrase Newton coined, but it might as well be a law of physics too. SO you’re sad now, you’re hurting, you’ve been rejected. Soon enough you’ll be back in the game, with your wounds properly healed, feeling great and wondering why you were ever upset in the first place. J