One time, long ago, I was in a relationship that was hilariously boring. It wasn't that he wasn't an interesting person per se, it was that we couldn't quite figure out why we belonged together.

The main reasons people are attracted to each other vary as widely as the people themselves, but some standard classics are physical attraction, mental matching, curiosity, or....boredom. 

Now, very few people will admit to joining a relationship out of boredom. They'll say they find something about the person exciting, or that they need a change. Perhaps the other person is very sexy, and they need some sexy in their life. No one will come out and say "Listen, my life is monotonous and this person adds a new dimension ok? That's all." In the case of my aforementioned relationship, it was that exact reason masquerading as a summer fling. By the middle of our relationship we were sitting around in his basement playing video games for hours on end and barely had two words to rub together. So, where's the harm in that? 

First of all, for a relationship as innocuous as a summer fling, there isn't a lot of harm. Sure, it can be draining and potentially friendship-damaging to spend tons of time with one single person, but you're by and large just spending time with a friend. The danger or "harm" comes from starting a relationship out of boredom, and not admitting to yourself that's what it was all along before it's too late. At that point, there are harsh words exchanged, personalities questioned, motives prodded. And it hurts. So here's my advice: 

1. Acknowledge that you're bored - all by yourself. 

Before you go into a relationship, try to avoid this situation altogether. Note to yourself that you're looking for a change, and things have been rather bland. Now I won't go into all the ways you can get out of this state of boredom, but just remember the Terry Pratchett quote: 

"Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of WONDERS, they managed to invent boredom."

2. If you haven't said 'I love you' yet - don't. 

Who am I to tell you who you can and cannot love?!?! Well that's why you're reading a relationship advice blog, friend! Based on my experiences and the tales of others, adding those three words involves a significant amount of meaning and complication to a boring relationship. Plus, the likely truth is that you're not really in love with the person at the end of the day, and saying that is just another way to distract you from the monotony of the relationship. 

3. If you're in the "Danger Zone" of a long term boring relationship - start talking. 

Or else you're wasting precious time. I hate to put it so bluntly, but you know it's true. Save the unnecessary pain and anger, and start communicating with your partner that you're not comfortable with the place where the relationship has settled. Either decide to make a change together because you actually love each other, or end it. 

The hard truth is there may have been some physical attraction,  some common interests, but really it was all veiling the combined need for life action on both parties' ends. So here you are months or years down the line when your situation has changed, you're getting stimulation from outside sources in your life, and you or your partner has no need for the relationship anymore and you're patiently and angrily waiting for things to change. Don't let that happen, you have the power. 

So what ever happened to my boring relationship? Well, after August rolled around and a few weeks of minimal communication between us, I finally called him up on the phone one day and said "Hey can we break up?" and he said "Yes please." I think at that point we both saw the relationship for what it was, and luckily we were on the exact same page.