There's nothing to stop you... you have it right there in your hand... what's to stop you? You've been wondering for a while now if he's been stepping out of the boundry of your relationship, so what could go wrong with checking your boyfriends phone? Best case scenario there's nothing suspicious and you feel better. Worst case? You know for sure.
There are many reasons why that best case scenario isn't necessarily true. I'll go into four of the most important reasons, but first lets back up at take a look at how you got here.
You may have been suspecting something inheretly "off" with you and your boyfriend for a while. Whether it manifests itself as awkard conversation or odd glances, you have the feeling that he's not owning up to something. Instead of asking him outright, you want to sneakily look at his phone since you can get the information directly, and you don't have to face with the fact that he might be lying. Whatever the reasons, understand that you're going into uncharted, dangerous territory. And not the fun, sexy, danger either. The relationship-ending danger.
1. It fosters distrust in your relationship without you knowing it
Let's say you did go on ahead and checked your boyfriends phone and you saw something you didn't really need to see. Perhaps it wasn't something outright bad, but something that didn't make you feel comfortable either. The next time your boyfriend picks up his phone you're going to instantly distrust that action. You will find yourself questioning his moves, motives, and general being. And, as a bonus, since you weren't really sure if what you saw was what you thought, this will go on forevvverrrr and you'll start distrusting yourself!
2. You'll feel guilty right away
Even before you finish the unlock code, you'll find yourself questioning your own motives, and that guilt will permeate in your conversations and looks. He'll get creeped out, you'll get creeped out, and worse even if you 100% confirm that he's a shithead, that vindication will be slightly lessed by the guilt you'll feel for having broken into his phone.
3. It's not the way to commuicate infedility - You'll feel reaaalll shitty
There it is, in black and white (okay maybe blue and white or green or whatever colors the phone messenger is) he's a liar. He's been cheating. Your heart sinks into your stomach and you feel sick. You know what's worse than this feeling? The knowledge that you're going to have to do something about it. You can call him over, show him the evidence, and confront him right then and there, but it will be awkward, painful, and again, he might attack you for looking at his phone! And that IS bullshit. So try the honest -chatting thing first.
4. It might not get you the knowledge you're looking for
After you've made up your mind to go ahead and peek, what if you find..... nothing? Some texts that are slightly suspicious but don't outright name him? A snapchat from a mysterious girl that only piques your interest more? At the end of the day, 9 times out of 10 this approach fails simply because he won't be messaging someone with the intent of relaying that information to you. Instead of saying something like "Wow I'm so happy I decided to cheat with you on my girlfriend" the text might say "Hey, want to hang out tomorrow afternoon?" which could be the start of many things, either innocent or otherwise. You just. won't. know.
If after knowing these things, you still want to go ahead and read those texts, facebook messages, gchat logs, etc, go for it. You know what you're getting into, and you've been fairly warned. As someone who spent four months of a relationship doubting everything (even the sweet compliments) that came out of my ex-boyfriends mouth because I was stupid enough to look at his phone one night, I can tell you it's not satisfying. It's deterioriating.
Have you ever looked in a boyfriends/girlfriends phone and didn't like what you saw? Ever have success instead? Tell us about it in the comments below!
